This Should Not Be Surprising

Bottled water is, in many cases, nothing more than filtered tap water from the area in which the bottling plant is located. This information has actually been available previously. Anything labeled as "purified drinking water" is quite likely to be nothing more than municipal water, which may or may not have additional filtration. Now, that's not to say that this water may not be more palatable than your local drinking water supply. Extra filtration may remove additional minerals and other contaminants that cause the water to have an unpleasant odor or taste. There are certainly unpleasant tasting local water supplies. Just don't think you're necessarily getting something better than tap water when you buy bottled water. Most of the time when I buy it, it's because I need a portable beverage that isn't full of sugar or caffeine and I don't have to worry about hanging onto the bottle when I'm finished with it. Most of the time I'm drinking from a refilled commercial water bottle or my handy Nalgene bottle.

Are Women Not Interested in "Nice Guys"?
It has been debated in many places that women don't like "nice guys" and only ever date jerks. The nice guys instead get treated like crap (and get dumped). The advice then is that guys should be jerks to women because that's what women want.

Something to think about: There are many women (and men too) who do not have a good idea of what a healthy relationship is. They may have experience with abusive relationships (their own as well as seeing those of their friends and family). Couple this with low-self esteem (which many women also have), and they may believe that they do not "deserve" a Nice Guy. They certainly don't have experience with Nice Guys. They may also not have a selection of Nice Guys in their life to choose from. Furthermore, the Bad Guys tend to be quite charismatic and controlling. Bad Guys are good at convincing women that they'll never find anybody else that will put up with them. They also convince women that whatever is going badly in the relationship is the woman's fault.

Question: If you consider yourself a Nice Guy, but insist on treating women poorly because women only like jerks, are you really a Nice Guy? If you complain about women only hanging around with jerks, how do you expect women to learn that Nice Guys might be a better choice if you teach them that they should be treated badly? All you're doing is shooting yourself in the foot and proving that guys are all jerks. If guys are all jerks, why would we think that Nice Guys even exist?

A common complaint is simply that women say "You're a nice guy, but..." and break up with someone. That's true. They do. The guy may not get whatever substantive explanation he wants. That's life. That doesn't automatically make the woman a jerk. She at least told you she wanted to end things instead of just vanishing or starting to sleep with someone else instead. It's also possible that she really believes that he's a Nice Guy and very likable but that there is something else that makes him incompatible. Nice Guys might, for example, chew with his mouth open, not pick up his laundry, be unable to make a decision or refuse to do anything socially with the woman's friends. The list of ways someone can be Nice and still be incompatible is endless.

Oddly enough Nice Guy and Jerk are never actually defined. Could it be that there is something about the Nice Guy that makes him unattractive?
Nice Guys rarely speak up when something bothers them, and rarely state clearly what it is they want, need and expect. They fear that any kind of conflict might spell the end of the relationship. Instead of comprimising and negotiating, they repeatedly "give in". When she doesn't appreciate their sacrifice, they will complain that, "Everything I did, I did for her.", as if this somehow elevates them to the status of martyrs. A woman doesn't want a martyr. She wants an equal, caring, adult partner. --From Heartless Bitches International
What I find interesting is that the breakups that involve the self-proclaimed Nice Guys are never the guy's fault. It's always the fault of the bitch that he was dating. As in the paragraph above, she is labeled as ungrateful and unappreciative of his Niceness. Could it be that your "nice" behavior isn't perceived as being nice? Could it be that you're insecure and smothering? Could it be that you believe that she's your entire life and you need to know where she is for fear that she might be finding someone "nicer" or more interesting than you? Needy guys might be nice, but there's a lot of stress and pressure put on someone when they're told "you are my life". Great. Now I not only have to manage my life, I have to manage *his* happiness too. So now if he's not happy it's my fault. And he's not happy if I'm not happy, so being unhappy about having to be responsible for his happiness is a bad thing. This, my friends, is a sure-fire guarantee of a soon-to-be failed relationship.

Here's a thought: if all of your relationships end the same way, it might not actually be the fault of the other half. It might be YOU. Frankly, sometimes it's nobody's "fault". Sometimes a person just realizes that he or she cannot be in a long-term committed relationship with the other person. Being in a relationship is a process and you learn about the other person as you go through this process. Sometimes in that process you find that the person you've chosen to be involved with just isn't going to fit in your life. It may be that you can't articulate *why* it's not working, just that it's not working. In the end, does it matter *why* the other person doesn't want to be involved with you? Would you really want to force staying in a relationship with someone that doesn't want you? How happy would that be? It certainly wouldn't be healthy and it speaks volumes about how you aren't really concerned for the other person's happiness if you want to force them to remain where they aren't happy.


Twitchh said…
Yep -- I buy bottled water for the bottle, not the water.
Twitchh said…
Excellent subsequent commentary on "Nice Guys", and how some guys think beng a jerk is what women want. (It's not.) HBI raises some *very* good points.

Popular Posts