Today's Complaint About Women

There was another discussion of how women are jerks on one of the boards I read today. Today the complaint is that women aren't nice enough when guys randomly hit on them. What I (and another person) wanted to know was why we're even expected to be available and interested in being hit upon? I do not personally own a shirt or a sign that reads "Hit on me now. I cannot stand to be alone." I do not go out to be hit on. In fact, I generally avoid going out because I don't care to have to deal with guys like that.

Here's another idea: if every time you approach a woman she shuts you down BEFORE you say anything to her, it's probably a safe bet that something you're doing is putting her off. We may just be idiot bitches, but we do notice if guys are making the circuit of the room hitting on all the females. That will land you in the creep/jerk category which, despite common belief of some males, is NOT desirable.

Furthermore, if a woman tells you "no" when you hit on her, this is NOT an invitation to enter into a debate with me while you attempt to prove that you are indeed the greatest thing in the world and a really nice guy. Note: If you insist on trying to persuade me to change my mind instead of respecting my decision, you are, by definition, a jerk and I *still* don't want to go out with you contrary to your theory that women only date jerks.

If you bitch about women judging all men based on the stupid actions of a few, use care when labelling all women idiots and bitches because a few of them do choose jerks and didn't choose you. I don't know about anybody else, but that seems a bit like judging all women based upon the actions of a few. And if you really dislike all women that much, why the heck are you continuing to hit on us and annoy us? Do you really need something to complain about that badly?

I've decided to quit reading the board. Several of the men on the board are a bunch of chauvinistic, sexist pigs. At least some of them believe that women cannot simply decline to have sex with their significant other, but must discuss it with the significant other and apparently make sure it's ok first. One individual went so far as to say that the woman can't refuse to have sex in a relationship because the relationship is about sex and if she won't have sex then the relationship is over. I refrained from speculating that this individual doesn't want a girlfriend, he wants a hooker. I can only wonder what sort of relationship he does have with his girlfriend. Given the temper he has demonstrated and threats of bodily harm to others, I wouldn't be surprised if coercion was involved. In any event, the women who attempt to point out that the repeated failures of "all" men are not because all women are just jerks aren't taken seriously. If you demand to be treated well, you might consider treating women well too. You might think you're a nice guy, but you are at least on the board behaving like a complete jerk and a misogynist, despite your claims to the contrary.

Guys who think they're somehow "entitled" to a chance with me just because I'm a woman and they're a man piss me off.

Comments

Karl Weiss said…
On the other hand, women today could learn a bit more about sending positive signals as well as negative ones.

That guy you don't really like might hit on you because so many women don't give out a come hither signal, yet some of them are interested and do respond if approached. How is he to know?

Would it really be so difficult to just tell him nicely, "thanks for the attention, but I'm not interested" rather than acting as though he just spilt hot soup in yor lap?
Morenna said…
It is indeed not difficult to say "no thanks", but that assumes he accepts that no as the answer and not as an invitation to press his merits. Many men do not and are apparently unaware of their failure to hear "no". When they receive a more definitive response, the reaction is to blame the woman.

It's a tricky thing and no given reaction/response will make everybody happy. I just dislike putting all the blame on one side or the other.

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