Let's Make a Deal!

That was pretty much the theme of my day. To get myself out of bed and off to the gym, I told myself that I could have an extra can of diet Pepsi today (it ended up being a large diet Coke at lunch, but that's close enough). To finish getting some data updated at work, I told myself I could have a snack if I finished the update first (my tummy was growling and I had six mini Tootsie Rolls). To get the lawn mowed, I told myself I could have the last beer in the fridge and spend the evening knitting. I think I drank almost half of the beer while knitting and watching a very amusing Peter Sellers film. Mr. Sellers played an Episcopalian priest with some rather unorthodox views, at least according to his parishioners. The character rather reminded me of Chauncy Gardener from Being There.

A Few Minor Rants.....

1. I do not own a dog. A large part of the reason why I do not own a dog is that I don't like cleaning up dog poo. The one thing I like even less than cleaning up my dog's poo is cleaning up someone else's dog's poo in my yard. Fortunately I smelled it before I stepped in it or I'd have definitely exercised my "adult word vocabulary". As it was, I merely growled and grumbled.
I realize that I am in the vast minority, but I find it irresponsible to let a dog run loose, particularly when said dog(s) have intact reproductive tracts. I have absolutely no sympathy for the owners of said dogs when they turn up dead by the side of the road. (I do have immense sympathy for the dog, because the dog is just being a dog. People ought to know better.) If I could find my wrist rocket, I'd make a point of instructing the local dogs about the perils of running through my yard. They've already learned to get the hell out of my yard when I step out on the porch. Apparently I bristle well, for a human.

2. I wish I was fiscally irresponsible. I wish I'd tried to buy a house I had no chance of affording. I wish I was a large corporation which had made questionable business decisions. That way I could be completely taken over by the feds and all my past errors could be fixed for me. It aggravates me that people who make sensible decisions and attempt to live within their means get to pay for the bailouts of the businesses and individuals who made untenable financial decisions. And the persons who ran Freddie Mac and Fannie Mae are apparently going to be receiving severance packages worth several million dollars apiece. What a lovely reward for creating a situation where the feds will spend billions of dollars to fix your mistakes. What happened to not rewarding poor results? I guess the feds will just print more money and keep on spending. In the meantime, the budgets at the federal and state level get completely screwed up, so little people like me no longer get pay raises while the cost of living creeps up ever higher. What do you bet that the Congress critters still get their annual pay raises? I'd bet their last dollar that *that* item in the budget is never considered optional when they try to balance things.... Perhaps some day someone will deliver a reality check to Congress. In the meantime, the rich and the powers that be will continue to get richer and more powerful, while standing on the tops of the rest of us. I am *so* tempted to bite someone in the foot.

3. Note to the crabby people (yes, that includes me too): Other people may not be perfect, but neither are you. On top of that, the universe (and all of its residents) are not out to screw you. Quite frankly, the universe doesn't give a rat's ass about you and probably doesn't even notice you. Approaching every interaction with a pre-emptive strike to screw over/yell at the other person is not a particularly productive way to do business. I really don't know how people manage to perceive only the negative in the world.

4. This makes no sense whatsoever: "I never thought about driving in to film 'fly out' until I bought a Subaru Forester. Now I can get closer." It's a stinking car and not a particularly fuel efficient one at that. It's not even a hybrid. It is NOT some spectacularly environmentally friendly anything, not does it have "stealth mode". Any other vehicle with a decent exhaust system would get you into the 'fly out' area to watch the birds launch.

5. Love Poem With Toast
By Miller Williams

Some of what we do, we do
to make things happen,
the alarm to wake us up, the coffee to perc,
the car to start.

The rest of what we do, we do
trying to keep something from doing something,
the skin from aging, the hoe from rusting,
the truth from getting out.

With yes and no like the poles of a battery
powering our passage through the days,
we move, as we call it, forward,
wanting to be wanted,
wanting not to lose the rain forest,
wanting the water to boil,
wanting not to have cancer,
wanting to be home by dark,
wanting not to run out of gas,

as each of us wants the other
watching at the end,
as both want not to leave the other alone,
as wanting to love beyond this meat and bone,
we gaze across breakfast and pretend.

from Some Jazz a While: Collected Poems, 1999
University of Illinois Press. Copyright 1999 Miller Williams.


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