Happy Valentine's Day!
A common topic today on several of the message boards I read is to rant, wail and gnash one's teeth about today being Valentine's Day and the ranter/wailer/gnasher being single. One poster went so far as to state that "Cupid is a santimonious prick" whose only purpose appears to be to make this particular person miserable, so he was going to just wallow in his misery. To me this seemed rather silly and I said so. Another poster said it much more eloquently than I:
Just like every other self-appointed "director" of our individual destinies. We give away our power to these $deity, follow their arbitrary rulebooks, find that doesn't work in all the cases where the rulebook says it should, and then continue to bang our heads against the wall of impossibility by continuing our invalid behavior.
And then we get mad. And then we get depressed. But until we tell the $deity and their arbitrary rulebook to shove it - and then *change our behavior* - nothing happens.
Things I do:
1. Every time I see a couple doing something romantic, I smile and approve. My body language changes enormously when I'm around people in relationships that work. I cherish that.
2. I reject the idea of relationship based on looks, or money, or co-dependency, or thrill, or social-norms, or what mommy-and-daddy-want. That's not relationship, that's sexual convenience.
3. I embrace the idea of relationship as a choice. A mutually-agreed-upon-sharing. And I acknowledge that this thing I want is something I must do my part to establish and maintain. And that if I do not do that work, then I have made the choice not to be in relationship - by my actions. Whether I consciously like the consequences of my choice or not is irrelevant. I have made that choice because my actions have created that consequence. $deity be damned.