Lack of Purpose Strikes Again

I found out today that my assumption that I would have a role in the upcoming H1N1 influenza vaccination campaign was completely wrong.  I assumed that since I have been answering questions about influenza and vaccination and everything else people called to ask about that I might continue that role.  I was wrong. It turns out that I don't actually have any role at all.

What frustrates me about this is that I have been told repeatedly since I was hired that my assistance/expertise is really not needed until there is an outbreak and even then only if there is a big outbreak.  Now we're in the middle of a big outbreak and I'm benched again.  From conversations with coworkers, just about everybody in the communicable disease section and the emergency preparedness sections will be pressed into service. Except me.  Despite the fact that I'm theoretically part of both of those two programs (and my salary is paid out of emergency preparedness money).  I have begun to despair that I really am never going to get the opportunity to do the job I was supposedly hired to do.

I'm going off to my corner to cry now.  I'm tired of having to remind people I exist and having to ask for things to do, especially since this seems to just annoy people.  I'm tired of trying to convince people that I have something positive to contribute.  I'm tired of being told that I once again have no purpose at my workplace. I'm tired of trying to convince people that I actually have a brain and that I'd like to use it.  I wish I could find an employer that actually wants to utilize ALL its employees to their fullest.  I wish I could find an employer who welcomes queries about what else I could be doing and helps me find more to do.


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