Now, *why* would you do that?

I'll admit to having done this occasionally in the past, though not nearly to this level. Why on *earth* would you insist on re-hashing an event which was primarily an imagined insult for the apparent sole purpose of getting all worked up and exerting your self-righteousness? This has been going on for three days now and I imagine it was re-hashed over the weekend with other people. Remember that disaster drill last Thursday where several of my co-workers were asked to move from the middle of the hallway to the volunteer room to continue their conversation? This is now being described with great hostility as "being thrown out" and the offending staff members of the other department are completely ungrateful since we ran their exercise and we were only supposed to be observers.

Here are my observations:
If you want to be an observer and not a volunteer, do NOT offer to do the job of a volunteer. If you do volunteer to be a volunteer, do NOT get crabby if they take you up on that offer. Had it been my exercise and I was trying to keep things running late in the morning, I would have also asked a of individuals to move their conversation into the volunteer room, instead of being in the middle of the hallway where they might be a disruption. Had they gotten difficult or refused to move, I also would have asked for security to assist me. If I'm running an exercise or an actual POD, I am going to be unhappy about things getting in the way of the smooth running of the POD. That means removing impediments that I can control. In this case, it meant asking the volunteers to NOT stand around conversing in the hallway with the patients, but to move to the volunteer room, which is exactly the purpose for which that room was designed. Seems pretty reasonable, don't you think?

But no. This is clearly an intentional insult by an ungrateful bunch of jerks and retards who couldn't have run anything had my co-workers not done everything. I guess the other department didn't do enough bowing and scraping. Frankly, I thought we were all working toward the same goal on the same team. Apparently I was wrong. The attitude at work really sucks. I don't care if our department is the "best". This isn't a competition. We're *all* trying to improve the health of the people in this state, aren't we? Don't you think we can manage what most grade school kids can do and play nice together and work together cooperatively?

I am learning that my co-workers cannot do that. It seems to be an office full of princesses that have to be adored and adulated. Nobody else can do something as well as they can. If someone does do something well, it gets criticized. Compliments are rarely handed out outside the office. Life is not a zero sum game folks. Just because someone else succeeds doesn't mean that I fail. Tearing down someone's accomplishments doesn't build me up. It just brings us all to the lower common denominator.

For all that folks at work keep espousing all these great "Christian" things and activities, it's not what I would call particularly "Christian" behavior from what I recall of such things. It sure as hell isn't anything even remotely related to Buddhist behavior. On the other hand, I'm getting to practice letting it all go and not letting it affect me. Of course, I'm losing a lot of my respect for my co-workers in the process.

Anyway, it seems to me like a colossal waste of energy and it also seems rather idiotic to insist on fomenting such vehemence when there is no constructive purpose to it. There is no possibility of cooperative teamwork as long as this attitude is perpetuated. None. I have no doubt that if this situation contributes to a bad outcome there will be some serious Finger Pointing Olympics. *sigh*

Ok, so I found the missing part of the pool vacuum. I even vacuumed a lot of it. It works very well. It would work even better if I had two people: one to direct the vacuum across the pool floor and one to backwash/rinse the filter as necessary. I can do this by myself from outside the pool by using the skimmer pole, but it would be easier to push it around from inside the pool. Anyway, most of the pool floor is cleaned up. The rain today even brought up the level of the water to the correct level. Tomorrow I'll try to finish up the vacuuming and get the shock chemicals into the pool. I've really got to get the backwash hose installed. I'm starting to make a puddle next to the pool and I don't want to compromise the structural integrity of the pool site by saturating the ground underneath part of it.

Working Out!
I actually got up at 5am today and worked out hard. I signed up for a workout buddy on the Internet, which helped with the motivation. I'll get up again tomorrow and hit it hard. Today was mostly cardio. Tomorrow will be weights. Yay!

Elsewhere On the Personal Front
I'm vaguely disgruntled with my life. Much of this has to do with my job being unsatisfying. I'm "data girl", which is fine, but it would be nice if I got to do the occasional investigation too, especially when my co-workers get lost or confused. I've tried to tell people that I can help them, but they apparently like floundering around saying they don't understand or don't believe I have anything useful to offer. That's fine. I'll find other things to keep me busy.

So, to do away with the disgruntlement, I have the following plan: get rid of the clutter in my life either through donating/selling possessions or throwing stuff out and stop wasting time. One of my complaints is that I haven't accomplished anything significant yet. So, it's time to figure out where I'd like to start and get moving. This week I'm going to log how I spend my time at home and identify how I can use my time more effectively to get my goals and priorities accomplished. I've got things to do and I'm on my way.


Mitch said…
Excellent -- Gooooooo, Dot!

Be that Unstoppable Force of Nature you know you can be, and keep moving and keep growing! Shed those things/people/events that would hold you back because they don't know any better. You were never the type to suffer fools lightly -- Don't suffer them here, either, any more than you have to in order to grow and move on to the next level.

You're awesome, and you rock, and you're going to go a lot farther than where you are now -- This is just a waypoint in a larger journey!

(Remember, it's an *adventure*!)

WooWOO! :o)
Stefaneener said…
Hmmmm. From a totally outside perspective, and that being a teensy slice of life perspective, it appears that you achieve bunches and are capable of achieving anything you want. So, this job stinks? What about those other opportunities you were mentioning?

You clearly can go places -- where would you like to go if you didn't have so much clutter around?

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