Frustration and "friends"

It's a pity party sort of day today. Sitting around thinking too much. I have realized that I don't really have many friends. I know quite a few people who contact me when they want something from me, but few people who call to say hi or want to do something with me, like go to a movie or have lunch. These people tell me I can call them and we'll do something, but such phone calls generate myriad excuses about how that just won't be possible. I'm getting really crabby about being taken advantage of. I realize that a good person is supposed to be somewhat altruistic and that is in my nature, but there's got to be some GIVE and take, not just take and take. Lately it seems as though my purpose and value is what I do for others. I don't rate high enough to get help when I need it, but I do get bitched at when I don't help someone else, regardless of how inconvenient, painful or difficult it is for me. I am apparently not allowed to take care of me if anybody else wants anything at all.

My cynical conclusion for the day:
The only person on the planet who truly gives a damn about me is me. Everybody else just cares about what I do for them and when I'll do it. Isn't that a cheerful thought. Yes, I'm crabby. Bite me. Make a joke out of it right now and I'll slug you.

Family:
Tried calling various family members the week after Easter to see how their weekend went. As generally happens, I was not invited to spend the holiday with anybody and wasn't able to catch anybody on the phone the week earlier to ask about plans. Easter Day I spent by myself watching DVDs and I might have gone to a movie. So I called to see how their weekend went. That was several weeks ago. No response. It has occurred to me that I could die or go missing and none of my family would actually notice for weeks to months. I'm thinking the neighbors would notice the smell much sooner than that.

I think I need a vacation or something. I'm all kinds of irritable, surly and generally FOUL tempered.